I knew defeat was going to be hard to take but I never thought it would be that painful.
Final defeats can be so cruel. This felt so much like the 1995 European Cup Winners Cup Final, which was for me worse than the FA Cup final defeat against Liverpool in 2001.
Watching Nayim score in the last minute of extra time was excruciating, as most Gunners believed that Seaman would probably have saved at least a penalty if it went to the shootout.
I have been looking forward to this final for a long time. It was supposed to be the day when Arsenal fans rediscover the magic feeling of winning a Cup again.
It was also to be the day when this team start a new era for Arsene Wenger. Arsene really deserved more for his faith in the last few years despite all the stick he gets from the media in this country.
In the end, a mistake by a rookie keeper ensured that we will continue to be the subject of taunts by the media for our "trophyless" run ( I have not heard much about Spurs and Liverpool not winning the league for fifty and twenty years respectively though).
Anyway, the media´s reaction was to expected. It will be an uncomfortable few weeks but we should not really listen to them.
They will use their old favourite tunes "soft centre" or "pass pass pass" but Arsenal have improved this season. In many ways, the media built the game as if Birmingham had no chance. It was a clever ploy to taunt Arsenal in the event of a defeat.
Rubbish also are claims that the players did not care - they were hurting make no mistake about that. van Persie, Song, Sagna and Clichy all looked distraught as they were picking up their medals. Wilshere´s tears said it all.
Everyone connected with the club is heartbroken tonight. But we should move on. This could be a lesson for the players and this season is far from over yet.
